Overcoming Anxiety: My Testimony

Many years ago I made a deal with God and told Him that if He would deliver me from anxiety, panic attacks and fear, I would share my testimony. Well, God has answered me and delivered me--the journey was tough and long and did I learn lots along the way. It was now my turn to do my part. I needed to share, and He quietly reminded me time and time again.

I grew up in a Christian home and have always heard about Jesus. But it wasn't until I started experiencing panic attacks in college that I really started studying the Bible. I have always been the type-a, perfectionistic type who likes things to be just right. My identity was in the works. Was I registered for the right classes? Was I choosing the right career? I was also working part-time and babysitting a ton to make some extra cash. All that on top of just being sixteen and figuring out life for myself. I took myself way too seriously.

My mind became the battlefield. I became too consumed in just doing things right and I started experiencing anxiety which led to panic attacks. If anyone has experienced a panic attack, you know how scary and debilitating they are. With the anxiety came the migraines and the stomach pains. I was now in this vicious cycle of being worried about my health. I told my mom and we went to the doctor to run some tests. Everything came back fine. 

Nothing was wrong with me.  

It was "just" anxiety.

This is where my passion for natural health began. I started learning about about the effects of stress on the human body. I started attending natural health seminars (at sixteen!). I started eating better. I gained this passion for nutrition. I signed up for yoga in college. Things seemed to get better. But there was still this heaviness and I would still find myself feeling anxious. 

This is when I made the deal with God. I told Him if He would help, if He would set me free from these intense feelings of anxiety, I would share it with people. 

Shortly after, I started finding Bible verses about the mind and would study them, speak them out loud, write them out, and reread them over and over again. I watched sermons on anxiety and learned the power of thoughts. When I would wake up crippled by fear, I would read a certain verse and it would give me hope and strength to get through that day. I would feel the fear but would still do whatever I needed to do. I started believing God's Word. I would replace scary thoughts with good, uplifting thoughts. The book that played a significant role was Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind and its study guide. I listened to worship music and found a mentor who prayed for me. I started taking better care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually any way I knew how. The anxiety was diminishing.



Today I am so thankful I have been on this journey. I believe that God brings us through certain situations so we can overcome them and help others. I'm still on a journey in finding my identity in Christ instead of in the works or in the things of this world. I still get into seasons of anxiety and can get into a hamster wheel of doing too much and not taking good care of myself. But now I am super good at recognizing it and quickly jumping out. The anxiety no longer scares me. And now I can punch fear in the face ;) The peace I now have is something so precious to me! Whatever the enemy meant for evil, God intended for good! (Genesis 50:20)

Here are some of my favorite Bible verses on anxiety and peace:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

The whole Psalm 91 is my favorite!

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

This I declare about the Lord:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

he is my God, and I trust him.

For he will rescue you from every trap

and protect you from deadly disease.

He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,

nor the arrow that flies in the day.

Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,

nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

Though a thousand fall at your side,

though ten thousand are dying around you,

these evils will not touch you.

Just open your eyes,

and see how the wicked are punished.

If you make the Lord your refuge,

if you make the Most High your shelter,

No evil will conquer you;

no plague will come near your home." Psalm 91:1-10

Life

CHEERS to Being a Year Older and Wiser ;)

Seems like the New Year just started and yet so many people have already had a Birthday! 

Last week I turned 27! What?!

When did that happen? Time seems to be going faster than it has ever been. 

On the day of my Birthday my husband came home early, brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a cute mini cake from one of our favorite bakeries. I knew how much fun Cyril would have blowing the candle out and singing "the Happy Birthday song," so I went looking for a random old cake candle and finally found a little open pack of candles from a previous Birthday we had. Oh and guess who blew it out? The toddler of course! Haha

And of course no matter what was going on, Benji was all giggles. Love the stage he is in right now! But I probably love every stage, except the newborn stage, oops! (The snuggles is all I like about it though). Anyway, my husband secretly tried finding a last minute babysitter so he could take me to dinner but unfortunately that didn't work out, which is all good! 

Both boys ended up napping and I needed to do a few things around the house. We ended up running a few errands and tried picking up a fiddle-leaf fig tree from Costco that I have been wanting, but there weren't any cute ones so I'm waiting for a new shipment to come in.

But over the weekend I did get together with a few girls to celebrate me so that was nice! Both boys are on a good schedule so I'm just going with their flow and it makes my life sooooo much easier. My life pretty much revolves around their naptimes, naps in the car, and bedtimes. Oh and LOTS of diapers, hahaha! So yeah, it was nice to see my friends, and dress up!

Hubby and I are still planning to go out for my Birthday dinner. Speaking of which, I should probably text the babysitter now. ;)

And how cute is this dress?! I saw it online and fell in LOVE! Went to one store, they didn't have it so I had to have somebody call different stores to track it down and the minute I put it on I was sold. 

Linking it HERE. 

For sizing, I am wearing 4 US (fits like a 0-2).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WHOEVER IS HAVING A BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR! HAHA!

XOXO,

ALINA 

How We Survived Colic

*This post is a continuation of Our Breastfeeding Trials and Triumphs post. So go read that one first if you haven't yet ;)

Now that we are on the other side of colic and have our happy baby, I want to give encouragement to those who are currently going through this awful time and feeling robbed of enjoying your little baby. As nursing became pleasant and manageable, Benji would get more and more fussier in the evenings and this was no longer due to his feedings. Without realizing or knowing what colic was at that time, and dealing with our breastfeeding struggles, I would say that colic started as early as 3 weeks of age, it just wasn't as predictable.With our firstborn, Cyril we did not experience this type of crying and knew that something was "off" when our baby would start screaming at the same hour of day, every single day, and would scream for 2-4 hrs at a time, and nothing we did would truly settle him.

So let me give you a definition of colic:

"Colic is a frustrating condition marked by predictable periods of significant distress in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby. Babies with colic often cry more than three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks or longer. 

Nothing you do to try to help your baby during these episodes seems to bring any relief. Colic can be distressing for both you and your baby. But take comfort: Colic is relatively short-lived. In a matter of weeks or months, the colic will end, and you'll have weathered one of the first major challenges of parenthood." -The Mayo Clinic

At about 6 weeks of age, we realized this screaming in the evenings for about 3-4 hours was a constant. The peak of colic is known to be between 6-8 weeks after birth, and this was true for us. It would start at about 5pm and would go on until 9pm, every single night. He screamed as if somebody was hurting him. We started avoiding going places around these times (hard to do during summertime and having a two year old who also needs attention). At about 11 weeks old we went on a trip with my sisters family where we stayed in the same condo, I was nervous on going since I hated being around people at the time my baby screamed since I didn't want any pity looks (my sister was very understanding and supportive, but the protective mama bear in me didn't want anyone to see my baby in distress). That weekend was the weekend we realized the evening screaming was slowly disappearing, but we didn't think much of it. We came home and gave it another week and it was GONE! He is now such a smiley baby! Our evenings are so calm and pleasant. We no longer avoid places. And honestly I truly started enjoying him when colic ended. I still sometimes wonder what it was and why he went through it. Maybe it was due to the fast and dramatic birth he had, or maybe it had nothing to do with it. I might never know. So here's a little encouragement to you moms battling with colic. HANG IN THERE. Know that you will get through this and that you will be on the other side. Get some help. I found that when I felt like I could no longer do it, my husband would take over to give me a little break and it was such a relief to have some time to pull myself together or even tend to my toddler. Keep a good attitude during this horrible time. Have hope! Your baby WILL be happy!

Here are some things that worked for us, I hope they work for you too!
Homemade Gripe Water Recipe:
-1 cup water
-1 1/2 tablespoon fennel seed
-1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
-1 teaspoon loose chamomile tea or use a tea bag if preferred bring to a boil and cool

Give baby 5mL in a syringe as needed. If you are nursing, drink this yourself so baby can also get it through your breastmilk. Also double the recipe and store in your fridge for up to three days.

Things that made ALL the difference:

Seeing a Chiropractor! Infant adjustments are nothing like the adult ones, so don't lose me here. A baby adjustment could be as gentle as you feeling the firmness of a tomato at the grocery store, and I seriously think Benji didn't even feel it when we brought him in. He slept for HOURS peacefully right after and the next day. I wish I brought him in sooner.

Going Dairy Free or Using a Dairy Free Formula: Pretty early on I started noticing mucous in Benji's stool. I brought it up to his doctor and he suggested I go off of dairy and see if anything changes. Sure enough, no more mucous (except the occasional slip up on my end), and the fussiness decreased.

Bouncing On The Edge Of The Bed or The Exercise Ball With the Baby Swaddled: This is one of those things that you randomly do and it tends to WORK! These are my favorite swaddles.

Carrying A Bottle of Pumped Milk Wherever You Go: Only my husband knows how important this was for us, hahaha (trust me it's only funny now). When I couldn't get to nurse him fast enough and while we still struggled with breastfeeding, giving him a bottle was the only way to keep him
happier.

Make Sure Baby Gets Burped After Each Feeding AND Belly Naps if possible: Such simple things that truly make a difference. I always had Benji nap on his belly in the living room, in his boppy lounger. That way I could see him at all times, and these were some of the longest naps he has ever had!

And these were my survival items, and in my opinion any newborn must haves:

1. Colic Tea: This is a colic must have! I went through so many of these cans. I always had a few tea bags in my diaper bag and while other people around me drank coffee or other yummy drinks, I drank this diluted chili tasting tea! Ha! These were also super convenient since I couldn't always get to making my own gripe water.

2. Baby Swing: This Fisher Price swing was such a big hit with Benji and one of my best baby purchases. I had no plans on buying this enormous thing, but boy did it keep him calm. Almost five months in and he's still loving it!

3. Probiotics: I think this is another one of those things that lessened the severity of his crying. Both Benji and I took these (since I was nursing). I have searched sooo long for a good dairy free probiotic and didn't find anything that was dairy free or gluten free (why give a newborn gluten so early on?!) until our naturopathic doctor mentioned this HLC High Potency probiotic. These do have to be refrigerated so if you can find these locally, do so! But if not, you can order them through Amazon, I would just make sure to call them and make sure they send you an ice pack and maybe do expedited shipping. I would split the capsule, put half of it in his bottle and drink the other half myself.

4. Digestive Enzyme: While trying to figure out why Benji was so fussy, our naturopath suggested we try a digestive enzyme and see if it helped incase he was having a hard time digesting my breastmilk. But since I started going off of dairy and saw huge improvements, I'm not sure if this made a difference, but maybe it did. Worth looking into for a fussy baby who is breastfed.

5. Dohm Machine: Colicky babies love white noise, and this Dohm machine is by far the best white noise out there in my opinion. We also brought this with us on our trip and it helped to block out outside noise when he was asleep.

6. Baby Shusher: This "Soothing Sleep Miracle" is something that I wish I had when we dealt with colic. But unfortunately I found out about it after colic ended and probably still should have gotten it for car rides. Benji loved the "shhh" sound I would make and it would help him quiet down. But this little cool machine lasts up to 30 minutes and turns off. Maybe a next baby must have? Haha

7. Essentail Oils: I am not a huge oil person but came across a highly rated oil on Amazon and gave it a shot. I added 1 or 2 drops of Digest Ease into one tablespoon of coconut oil and mixed it well. Rubbed a tiny amount into Benji's belly. It seemed to helped. I also diffused Anxiety Ease in the room and loved the smell! There are tons of fancy diffusers out there, but I love this simple one.

***I am not a professional, these are just things that seemed to bring some relief for us.

Although I found some relief in the things listed above, nothing truly 100% got rid of colic for us until it went away on it's own.

Love,

Alina